Busy times again. I write this every year but like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives: I love the crisp autumnal winds in Southwestern Ontario. We had a tremendous August and it capped off one hard year. Plenty of blood, sweat, and fears. And what now looms is like the ship in Close Encounters: big, cinematic, and terrifying. Unexpected but in the stars. ¶ I was fortunate enough to sell all three of my pieces at this year's Square Foot Show at the AWOL gallery on Ossington. I've participated in most of the shows since its inception. Problem is (for lack of a better term), I have no idea who bought them. Whoever you are: enjoy them. I was super pleased with how they turned out. ¶ Watch for my work in upcoming issues of The Improper Bostonian, Hearst's Town & Country, and AARP. I'm also going to be doing quite a bit of work in upcoming re-designed issues of B.C. Business. ¶ I've been receiving some great suggestions for Visionary Canadians. Watch for the next installment in October. ¶ Stay cool, keep golden, and always watch for the smart play.

Labels: Freelancing, Vague

¶ 2:24 PM

A few news items: I have a button in this year's One Inch Punch show at Lennox Contemporary Gallery (12 Ossington Avenue, Toronto) this Friday, 8pm. ¶ I'm also taking part in this year's Square Foot Show. Ticketed opening on Friday, August 15th at 6pm. General exhibition begins the following day at noon and goes on until September 7th (100A Ossington Ave. 2nd floor). ¶ Also of note: I'm this week's diarist for the Arts & Life section for the National Post. Until Friday.

Labels: ArtShow, Freelancing

¶ 11:54 AM

I'd lost my confidence there for a while. That's something, and I don't mind saying so. Like many professions, a good part of mine is a head game. There is a technical aspect as well and this fact is sweetly appreciated especially when one is in a fog. Having said that: if the mental game is off, or gone, there's very little of quality that is traced on my hard drive. You can't deny the facts. You can't seem to do it. The skill is there, but buried. And it's not black and white, else it would be a simple matter and not a vague one. ¶ Of course it's easier to talk about once things start to come back. It's always a relief and never trivial. I feel better again, and it has to do in part with how happy I've been with some recent work. I really thought my Farmiga worked; I was very happy with Carlin (it was one of my quickest drawings on record coming in at just under 3 minutes), and to boot I think Judd Apatow turned out real swell. Anyway, here's to improving drawing. Have a good one.

Labels: Freelancing, SitewayWorld, Vague

¶ 10:53 PM

I first noticed Vera Farmiga in a movie I recommend, Running Scared, but it's not because of her role. Her role is fine, as it is written, but she really shines in another loosely written role, Madolyn in The Departed. She's even watchable when her character is over-conceived, as in her turn as Irene in Down to the Bone. No matter. What I do know is this: Ms. Farmiga is extremely intriguing, technically brilliant, and full of potential. She stars in Quid Pro Quo, opening in limited release, this Friday. ¶ Speaking of Fridays, last one saw me at the Carlu for this year's National Magazine Awards. A windowless gem of a space, it really did play a starring role in my night. Credit also has to go to Daniel et Daniel who catered incredible food served by exceptional staff: beef and yorkshire, shrimp & scallop station, pasta, mini chicken burgers w/ fries. And more. In any case, it was a great night and I feel especially lucky to have shared it with some good friends. ¶ I'm not sure how many more of these posts and updates will happen on this version of Siteway. Things are heating up, work-wise, and yet I feel really close to launching the new sites. I guess I'll have to find the time. If you have suggestions for future Siteway presentations, then now's the time to get in touch. ¶ I have a David Sedaris illustration in Monday's National Post. Arts & Life cover. ¶ We made homemade pasta the other night. Yes. And it was good. More on this later.

Labels: CareerTalk, FeaturedIllustration, Freelancing, SitewayWorld, Toronto

¶ 12:01 AM

Happy Birthday to my decision to register a domain name, one siteway.com. She's 12-years-old today. Oh boy. ¶ Pick up the National Post this weekend: Saturday's magazine, Toronto will include four noirish illustrations including the cover.

Labels: Freelancing, NationalPost, SitewayWorld

¶ 12:35 PM

I can't believe it's so far into 2008. I've been really keen on some recent developments, but it's always hard to say. You never know. But here's to hoping (thank you for coming out tonight!).

Labels: Freelancing, Future

¶ 1:52 AM

With this week's long-delayed feature illustration of Pauline Hare I conclude my latest series, Admiration of Benefit. Pauline, my wife, a woman I greatly admire, makes a great subject. On dates I occassionally sketch her, but I've never before attempted a fully realised portrait. ¶ News: watch for my work in upcoming issues of Meetings & Incentive Travel, Canadian Homeworkshop, and Annabelle.

Labels: AdmirationOfBenefit, FeaturedIllustration, Freelancing

¶ 12:38 PM

When I was in the first grade I can remember a specific day that has never quite left me. It was a dreary Monday morning and I was coerced into wearing a pair of brown slacks by the parental units that were neither comfortable nor remotely close to what other kids were wearing. The very brownness of them depressed me—I know that sounds heavy for someone six years of age—but it's the only word that captures my memory. Specifically: I'm walking up Downs Avenue. I'm looking down and the rain is paining me. Stay with me, this story has a good end. I get to class and things just don't feel right. I never recovered from sleep. I was so anxious about my clothing (I don't think my shirt was much better). The truth is I simply wasn't feeling well. This was the source of my pain: a stomach bug that soon had me vomiting in our in-class bathroom. I think this made me cry, because I remember the blurry vision that comes from tears. I was lucky that my father was working from home that day and I was able to press the reset button. Soon I was back home, in bed, and recovering. I didn't throw up again but the stomach illness was bona fide. And yet, its connection with my mental outlook that day never left me. I connected being sick, the colour brown, and all my anxiety in one big mess of a concept. Cut to 2007 and I'm creating a folder in My Documents entitled Brown Period. I often title my works and ideas long before the meat. It's just my way, I'm sure many of you do the same. Illustrations like this one and this one and this one embody my love for brown. ¶ It's been years since I've avoided brown. The part of that day in 1981 that stays with me is how real and harsh everything felt. How sad I felt that my bad day was getting worse and worse. Until it got better. How good and relaxed I felt once home in bed. It may seem strange to associate a colour into that sort of experience, but it happens. The point, though, of these sorts of associations, is as true then as it is now, even if my feelings have inverted: it matters. It matters that I was wearing a pair of slacks that I hated. It matters that my father was home that day. It matters that it was raining. It matters that it wasn't entirely my brain that was on the fritz. My stomach was, too. And there's relief in all of it. An early cathartic day. Yes I avoided brown for many years after. That was the cost of my experience. The payoff is everything else. For example, the Brown Period, for whatever that is worth. ¶ No illustration this week. Freelance work has taken over my week! It's positive, all, so I'm not complaining and with any luck, I'll have my 9th portrait in Admiration of Benefit ready for Tuesday AM, even if I will be in NYC.

Labels: Brown, Freelancing, Memories, NYC, Vague

¶ 11:12 AM

Coming up with subjects for Admiration of Benefit (as well as illustrating them) has been an interesting challenge. I look up to a great many people and I've drawn many of them already. What makes this series different, at least for me, has been my attempt to do draw people the general public may not immediately connect with me, or Siteway. Fred Dretske, for example, was a huge influence on my academic development, my writing style, my brain. I'm not too sure he's a household name, though. My third grade teacher was probably an influence on a great many students who attended Springvale Elementary during that era. I'm not saying these are idiosyncratic choices but they are, I think, just a little bit different. ¶ Mort Drucker, legendary illustrator and caricaturist, is my subject this week. His work is unparalleled, as David Apatoff points out, and lately it has become apparent to me just how many hundreds of hours I spent as a kid studying Drucker's work in MAD. I read the words too, it's true, but the real magic was happening in the pictures. The closest I came to Mr. Drucker was a few years back when the ad agency I was working for hired him to do a Mr. Clean poster. I remembered thinking: "So he still works as an illustrator. Hmm. Maybe this illustration-as-a-career idea isn't so crazy." It's not that I thought you'd get rich doing it but it was something you do for a long time and in many different veins, developing your craft over a lifetime. While Al Hirschfeld's line work inspired me to think big, Drucker's work was so awesome it simply could not be ignored. It's deep in my brain. I recommend picking up old MAD magazines for Drucker's beautiful drawings alone. ¶ Did you know that Monet used to draw caricatures? ¶ You still have some time to see four of my framed prints at April Maloney Salon (178 Avenue Road). They'll be up for the rest of the month and they're for sale. The Katharine Hepburn is $900, the Alfred Hitchcock is $600, and the Tom Wolfe is $100 (the Audrey Hepburn has been sold).

Labels: ArtShow, Freelancing, Heroes

¶ 5:49 PM

Last winter I received an interesting phone call. It was a Saturday afternoon and we were having a couple of festive drinks if you must know. Living in one hell of a good apartment in London, Ontario, at the time, I answered the phone in good spirits: Hello? I don't typically get business calls on Saturdays. I didn't recognize the voice on the other end of the line: Oh, hey, yeah, is this Antony from Siteway? It was Dave Ellis, business partner in a new pizza venture in Brooklyn. We chatted a bit about what it might take for me to do an illustration for the pizzeria's sign and menu. And then Dave got down to it: it was going to be a portrait of the "Mayor of Elisabeth Street", Vinny Vella, Sr., an actor I'd later recognize from Casino and Ghost Dog. Pauline and I were going to visit NYC soon and I told this to Dave. I suggested we meet up. Dave didn't know how to take this at first, but when we spoke a time later he thought dinner might be in order. Weeks later we did exactly that. It was a great night, the illustration was well received, and now Vinny Vella's Pizza (374 Metropolitan Ave, Williamsburg, NYC) is open for business. Here's a piece from the Village Voice. ¶ Have a great weekend folks. Watch for Admiration of Benefit #2, on Monday afternoon.

Labels: AdmirationOfBenefit, Freelancing, Siteway

¶ 11:12 AM

There was a time, a time not too long ago, when, if you were a fly on the wall of my office, you'd see me animating banner ads day in and out. And if I wasn't actually animating them, I'd be in a meeting about them, or having beer with my co-workers brainstorming about them, or coming up with concepts for them. I used to enjoy many parts of this life and I'm grateful for my early days in Advertising. Not only do I count many post-university friends in the industry I worked, but I also had my fair share of mentors and insights. I might have even helped a few people along the way. With the positive, however, came some pretty weighted moments where I would feel decidedly unfulfilled, decidedly unhappy, decidedly scared. I don't romanticize this. I was scared. I would expect most people would include these feelings into the category of Necessary Evils, that is, working for a living. I grant this possibility. But I find it curious that ever since I started to take those anxieties seriously, my working life improved, in the sense that I enjoyed it more. And this is long before I left employed life. This started when I started to talk to my managers in the kind of candid professional tone that I'd been trying out since high school. It didn't work as well on teachers, for the most part. This is in part because they had too many things going on at once to ultimately care about an average and well-behaved student who seemed to be heading in a pretty good direction (me). Managers, however, who know the difficulty of creating a good team, have always appreciated it. Even if I wasn't the strongest member of said team. What am I getting at? Two things. 1. You're probably more valuable to your employer than you realise. 2. I built a new banner ad today. It's for Siteway Select. It's promoting my newest print available, of Marlon Brando in the Wild One.

Labels: Advertising, CareerTalk, Freelancing, Siteway, SitewaySelect

¶ 11:19 AM

I've made some small changes to Siteway over the past few weeks. Do let me know if anything seems out of place on your browser. I have some additional tweaks in mind. Siteway has become very much a working site, even more than it had become, and overall I'm still very happy with the tone herein. One day soon I'd like to take Siteway to a place where an HTML/CSS/Ajax superstar can help me takes things even further. Ideally this will happen in early 2008. If you are said superstar, get in touch. ¶ I'm marketing myself as a P.I., a private illustrator, not just because I like film noir (though I can't deny its influence). I've long talked about how I have attempted to model my career on independent professionals like the working actor. Though there are many one-man shows, the private investigator has captured the imagination of story-tellers more per capita than all other freelancing careers combined. That's just conjecture. I believe it to be true, though, for all the obvious reasons and some less obvious ones. One less obvious reason is they typically embody the tension between, on the one hand, the law, the mainstream, the expected, and on the other, the truth. In other words, they're on the margins, self-sustaining and yet unselfish. And, while I can't claim to hold this position, I can certainly aspire to it. ¶ Watch for some of my illustrations in the upcoming Rich Lists issue of Forbes, hitting newsstands in late September.

Labels: Cinema, Forbes, Freelancing, Siteway

¶ 12:24 PM

Pauline buying the chocolate-brown blinds for my office and their eventual installment have represented a huge turning point in my effort to settle back into Toronto. I don't mean to be flip about it: the truth is sometimes banal. Obstacles included nothing out of the ordinary. The very things, at least it seems to me, that help to flesh out the meaning of life chapters in the first place. I've had more than one occassion about which a good look in the mirror was required. We've overcome most, ignored some, and tackled others head-on. This has been very much a summer of preparation and it looks like we'll finally be able to sit back and soak in some rays before the Fall. Ten days off and then a couple of lazy August weeks before I march right up to September, knock on the door, and walk right in. ¶ Freelance news: watch for my illustrations in upcoming issues of Maisonneuve, Goon, and Lürzer's 200 Best Illustrators Worldwide (07/08).

Labels: Freelancing, Vague

¶ 1:04 PM

From Nick Tosches' Letter from Tokyo in the June 2007 issue of Vanity Fair: As to what all this looked like and how it tasted, well, you can't eat metaphors, and if I ever use words such as "succulent," shoot me, but suffice to say that I remember thinking as I walked into the night: If the Roman emporers can be said to have missed out on anything, it was this. ¶ Watch for an upcoming print ad I have running through the fine people at theIspot in the Illustration Annual issue of Communication Arts. On newsstands July 1, 2007. ¶ I'm currently in the final stages of putting together my proposal for The National Post Portraits. If you know my work and you know a gallery in Toronto I should know about, connect the dots for me. Sincerely yours, me. ¶ Looks like Peter Bogdonavich isn't done. In his first film in six years, he's directing an untitled Tom Petty documentary. Last I read, it might be called Running Down a Dream. I drew, and was unsatisfied with, a portrait of Tom Petty a few weeks ago. I'll try again soon, maybe in time for a film poster? Koff. ¶ Hey yeah yeah / In the dark of the sun / We will stand together/ Yeah we will stand as one / Oh in the dark of the sun.

Labels: Excerpt, Freelancing, Lyric, NationalPost

¶ 3:21 PM

"If you take drawing seriously, you never quite feel you've arrived. Your ambition is always for something a little better than anything you've yet done."—Edward Sorel, from Unauthorized Portraits, a good book. ¶ Last week was informally pitch week which means I sent out a few dozen e-mail and postal pitches to art directors near and far. It's an absolutely thrilling part of the business, but along for the ride are fear and vulnerability. But hey, that's the gig. ¶ We went to see Disturbia (2007) last week and while I can't reasonably recommend this film, it did get me thinking about Rear Window (1954) (obviously) and from there my thoughts moved to Alfred Hitchcock. One of my favourite films of Hitchcock's is Frenzy (1972) which I think shows how clearly how Brian De Palma was influenced as he began making films. The blood is thick and deep (De Palma favors fire-engine red), clothing stinks of cigarette smoke, hair is matted and messy, and the violence absolutely brutal. It's the kind of movie I would have feared as a boy. Right from the outset, it's a harsh London depicted. It's a London that's the urban cousin of Peckinpah's rural England in Straw Dogs (1971). What I like most about it is the art direction feels like equal parts controlled and organic. It's like a play on the streets. It is, for many reasons, genius art direction. Moreover, the plot and pacing are above average: there's a tie-strangler on the loose and our man Dick Blaney is suspect number one! ¶ This week I illustrate Alfred Hitchcock. I find myself drawn even more to artists like Hitchcock. There's a certain holism to his films which I not only find comforting, but fascinating. I'll keep you posted on my informal study of his work.

Labels: Cinema, FeaturedIllustration, Freelancing, Quotation

¶ 1:31 PM

I've got a colour Jack Bauer in Monday's National Post (no ELM, you can't see a "sneak peek"). AL1. It's a little different than what many might be accustomed to. ¶ A huge thanks goes out to everyone that writes to me with kind words and support. I'm lucky to be able to cobble together a living drawing, and I know it. The feedback I get from my fellows is crucial to the mix. And to my fellow freelancers out there (you know who you are), you're doing it right now. ¶ “If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”—Charles Bukowski.

Labels: Freelancing, NationalPost, Quotation

¶ 2:47 PM

The fall is in full swing which is just another way of saying that winter is around the corner. I'm sometimes so influenced by old media that require months of development that I think like a fashion editor might: it's already spring 2007. It's not a bad worldview, if you understand what it means. I'm not looking forward to spring or even believing it to actually be spring as much as I am simply acknowledging the speed of life. Time appears variable despite this framework, but I sometimes reduce my anxiety by taking for granted the unnerving speed at which it can sometimes travel (especially as the seasons are concerned). ¶ I've just boarded the VIA train at Union Station in downtown Toronto and my mind is already in the clouds. What would it take for me to do something for VIA in return for unlimited travel coupons? I'd really like that. So I am going to take home my copy of VIA Destinations magazine (on the cover it says: "take me home") and start by contacting them. Failing that I'll come up with a plan B, or something. FYI: the deal with wireless on the VIA train is $8.95 for unlimited usage in one 24-hour period. They have other plans, but that was the simplest one, and the one I chose. ¶ A young man seated in front of me has just tucked into a Harvey's double-burger combination meal with fries and a bottle of Coke (plastic). The smell is actually not as overwhelming as you might imagine. Just don't get me to be so patient when somebody tucks into a couple of stinky tacos from Taco Bell in the cinema. Come on, that's too much! ¶ There's plenty of good news on the illustration front as evidenced in part by some recent work in the National Post and TORO magazine. I've also had the fortunate opportunity to work with Bloomsbury USA for an upcoming book cover, a portrait of David Carter Beane in Advocate magazine, as well as a small Toronto-based company needing some identity help. As is so often the case, I'm of two minds about my career. On the one hand, I'm very pleased that I'm working more and delivering what I think are ever-improving illustrations in a style that I still feel very good about. On the other hand, I wonder what tomorrow holds. What role will portraits play in my future work? What about my growing desire to tell stories? How will the for-hire mesh with the for-sale? I don't know the answer, and I'm not wishing I did. I'm merely posing it and I've got to be honest: it's something I'm curious about. To that end, there's considerable amount of non-freelance projects that are keeping me busy. I'm attempting to relaunch the entire family of Siteway web sites. That's Siteway (here!), Phelts, Tonicville, and a new addition, Coastalmatic. I'm also back on the Final Straw train with a new hook and clearer direction. I don't know it all means, but I've been blessed with some good opportunities and a wonderful working environment in London. I just need to focus on a few choice milestones and really take this thing to another level, the recognition of which won't be noticed until I'm dreaming up the next chapter. ¶ We're pulling into Oakville and the train ride has been so far so great. Cheers Toronto, I'll see you again soon.

Labels: Freelancing, Londontown, SitewayWorld, Toronto, Train

¶ 10:47 AM

Been a busy month. I had Barbra Streisand in the National Post AL2 on Tuesday and tomorrow (Thursday) I've got my third Arts & Life cover. It's of Clint Eastwood. They're doing a profile on him as he's got a new film, Flags of Our Fathers, coming out soon. It's my first Post illustration to use some red. ¶ Speaking of Mr. Eastwood, the November 2006 issue of TORO hit newsstands yesterday (the Sports issue) and it has a different illustration I did for them of the Hollywood legend. Counting the private commission I did a couple of years ago, that's three Clint's in my portfolio. I'm also mentioned in the contributor's page which is neat. ¶ Took a quick walk at lunch. I like to get out at least once a day for a stroll. Had some fries and gravy at the local greasy spoon. Been thinking a lot about Matchstick lately. I had a good chat with Pauline last night about him (we found ourselves at the Palasad... again). I have a million ideas and yet I've misplaced the hook somewhere along the way. I'm going to get down to basics by stripping everything down and get the story down. For that I'm going to use the highly effective, low-fi, and totally free, Darkroom. ¶ I wonder how Walter and the Life Drawing crew at the Gladstone are doing tonight...

Labels: Freelancing, Londontown, NationalPost

¶ 2:51 PM

I updated the Seth illustration above by adding some subtle animation. I'd like to do more animation, but so far I haven't found the best way, from a time management perspective, to accomplish this. I think it comes down to illustrating every new Siteway portrait all week every week instead of one day a week, every week. ¶ National Post portrait in the Wednesday, October 11, 2006 issue, of George Strombo, AL2. ¶ This past spring, when I was working part-time with Mouth Media, I designed some in-store graphics and the logo for GoodHealth Pharmacy. Currently their only store is in Ottawa, on Preston Street. ¶ Popphoto.com (digital arm of American Photo and Popular Photography) has a very good piece on portrait photographer Platon. Here are two excerpts that I particularly enjoyed: "Al Hirschfeld, the legendary cartoonist, had his picture taken by Platon a few weeks before he died, at the age of 99. 'If you had one wish?' Platon asked. 'Ah, to be 90 again,' he replied." and "On Christopher Walken, in the understatement of the night: 'Now this guy is weird.' Walken showed up for a shoot at Platon's house an hour early (unprecedented), alone (un-heard-of), and wearing black elastic pants pulled up to his armpits (what do you expect). He walked through the studio, straight into Platon's kitchen and started going through the cabinets. Platon, a little confused, asked him if he was hungry, and could he get him something to eat? 'No,' Walken replied, and kept opening cabinet doors. His advice on life? 'It helps if you drink.' The only way he would let Platon shoot his portrait? 'You're going to say 'Chris' and I'm going to look at you and then I'm going to look away.' 'We did that for two hours,' Platon says."

Labels: FeaturedIllustration, Freelancing, Heroes, NationalPost, Quotation

¶ 3:26 PM

Relax. / I need some information first. / Just the basic facts. / Can you show me where it hurts? / There is no pain, you are receding. / A distant ship's smoke on the horizon. / You are only coming through in waves.. ¶ Martin Scorsese is being profiled by the National Post in tomorrow's (Wednesday's) Arts & Life and I illustrated the cover portrait (AL1). It's of Scorsese these days, and I'm pretty Fn happy with it. ¶ I've got a series of five illustrations in the November 2006 issue of BC Business. I'm also profiled as a contributor in the front of the book.

Labels: Freelancing, Lyric, NationalPost

¶ 4:49 PM

The Fourth San Francisco Story ¶ Before I get into the story I should simply state how wonderful a time we had in the Bay Area. Across the board, people treated us with respect and courtesy, with fondness and humanity. ¶ We used Broke-Ass Stuart's Guide to Living Cheaply in San Francisco V.2 extensively. I picked up a copy at the Bound Together Anarchist Collective Bookstore. It was very fun to read and explore the city through Stuart's perspective. I fully recommend it. When we didn't use Broke-Ass Stuart's guide, we relied heavily on a friend's e-mail filled with recommendations. One night we used both resources. ¶ My friend described Range as "quite trendy but the food is great." That's exactly right. Range (842 Valencia Street, 415-282-8283) is in the Mission and our old-world cab driver warned us "not to talk to anyone" and "to be careful." His advice was misguided as the area was not at all dangerous (but nearby intersections might have been). Hint, especially to those of you that haven't spent time in (Western) urban centres: when you are worried about bad areas in cities, if you are to be worried at all, you quite likely need to be very specific. Most of the big cities I've been to can't be judged generally for more than a block without lapsing into error. That corner might be bad but that neighbourhood is entirely sketchy? Really? I doubt it. ¶ I had the Alaskan Halibut and I actually forget what Pauline ordered. We were satiated and ready for more. ¶ After dinner we strolled down toward the Elbo Room. I'm not being ageist, because if I lived in SF I'd totally go there all the time, but this is the perfect bar for your mid-to-late twenties. It's what young-adult bars are all about: beautiful people, stiff drinks, no-attitude bar staff, great music (I'm not even a fan of funk, but it suited the night perfectly), and that dark, dank, bar feel. It's also a highly regarded live music venue which I totally believe from what I could tell. I wanted to keep drinking but my lids started to close and I had to listen to the body. We jumped in a cab and headed back to bed. ¶ Pleased to say that tomorrow, in addition to the TORO piece, I have a National Post portrait of JRR Tolkien on AL2. It's my 15th.

Labels: Freelancing, NationalPost, San Francisco

¶ 3:40 PM

We're in autumn now. ¶ I have my first North American national magazine illustration in this month's TORO magazine. It's of Brian Cox. On newsstands Tuesday. ¶ After a great list of suggestions I decided to draw Audrey Hepburn tonight. She's a classic, of course, but she's one of many recent portraits that I actually started many moons ago. I struggled then, but not as much tonight. It's always been true: practise is the best prescription. I'm so glad I decided to draw weekly portraits here on Siteway.

Labels: Freelancing, SitewayWorld

¶ 11:46 PM

Some time ago the seed of a plan was planted in my brain. It looked quite likely that I would be moving from Toronto, at least temporarily, and just after my freelancing career was getting started. How would this work? What was my job? Could I do what I do in another country? In a town? At a cabin? Let me back up. ¶ Four years ago I made the decision to work part-time with the agency where I was employed. Since I had paid my dues with them, and for other reasons, they agreed. I would work three days a week for a salary that I felt was more than what I needed (Sidebar: this is a very real avenue for very many people who think it is impossible. Look into it!). I would spend those other two days working exclusively on what I guess you could call investment projects—projects that didn't actually pay the rent but one day might—and life was good. The main point of that exercise was to prove to myself that it was possible to have a "real job" that didn't take over the majority of my time. I am, and have always been, disposed to anxious feelings when I feel overwhelmed by a structure from without. ¶ The first time I can remember feeling this way was in grade four. Up to that point I had always enjoyed the freedom inherent in Western schooling. My teacher in grade four, however, managed to turn school into work and work into stress and, as a result, I had my first anxiety problem. It manifested itself in a deep reluctance to get out of bed on Mondays and a feeling of despair throughout the day. I remember it lifted that spring when the prospect of travelling overseas to Cyprus presented itself. The next time it hit was in grade twelve. I went to another high school's dance and all of a sudden I felt like I popped out of my skin. Again with the despair, but along for the ride came a temporary bout of hypochondria brought on by a very real case of anxiety. Nothing except the good guidance of smart doctors (and one dumb one) helped me on my way. I decided that university would take care of itself and that worrying about honour rolls and marks was a fool's game. I still believe that, but everyone has a different take. Since high school I've had a few episodes, but we're really just talking about a fairly normal thing; I write about it because I feel this sort of thing is quite common. It's a hobby horse of mine because I've been able to gain a substantial amount of happiness by working through my shortcomings. ¶ So I moved to part-time work in part for my sanity and in part for my future. However, I knew the move was temporary. Ultimately I knew that I would work for myself but I wasn't ready. This sort of self-knowledge is easy to write about now but nearly impossible to recognize in the moment. I did, however, appreciate the aesthetic beauty of transition and decided it was a sensible (read: higher probability of success) thing to do. I'm one for not shying away from the Big Important Decisions but it's quite clear that these decisions need the help of a thousand smaller moves. ¶ In April 2005 I finally gave my notice effectively ending my employed career. Since then I've been self-employed. It's been the best year of my career (big surprise when you consider the build-up) and even though it rightly scared the youknowwhat out of my folks and herself, I had the advantage of self-knowledge (as skewed as that can get) to help me through it. For some reason the prospect of having no money just doesn't have a grip on me and that fact alone has been part of the reason why the year has worked. It's not for everyone but for everyone it's for, it's a blessing. But that's just the start! ¶ And so here I am at the Gladstone Hotel, writing my 601st post on, for the first time, a notebook computer that is poised to become my mobile canvas, workstation, and tool of my trade. I did some real work today, too, which pleases me, but the real importance of today is clearly the personal meaning it holds for me. It's the first day of quite literally a world of possibility. And for once I'm talking about this actual world.

Labels: Freelancing, Musings, Toronto

¶ 12:42 PM

Phew. Last week was unquestionably my busiest since I moved into the freelance arena. It felt good this weekend to unwind out of town. I let myself think about other things and it was a nice change. I don't think I'm stressed, but I certainly did have to remind myself to relax and slink back in my chair. I did. Ended up at the Runt Club on Friday night where we demolished several pitchers of beer as the conversation flowed and flowed. It was so much fun. I love the Runt Club, that much you can say about me with certainty. I had the pasta architect: penne, alfredo, grilled chicken and shrimp. ¶ More sensual delights awaited us: spicy jambalaya, one of the best table wines I've ever had (EastDell Estates Black Cab VQA), more cold beer, popcorn, iced tea, and on Sunday evening, a home-made bacon cheeseburger. ¶ My thoughts were varied. At one point I traced my excitement for the unfolding world with the day I saw Back to the Future at the Oxford. I'd already seen the greatness of Ghostbusters and realised that the world had the potential to contain so many good things! It was a hyperbolic thought. But those thoughts gave me great comfort. I wonder: how many people my age have a similar mental landscape?

Labels: Cinema, Freelancing, Londontown, Vague, Wine

¶ 11:41 PM

My first non-book cover illustration was published in today's Globe and Mail's 7 section. It's of Garrison Keillor, Lindsay Lohan, Lily Tomlin, and Meryl Streep. They are all players in the new Robert Altman film, A Prairie Home Companion. It was an absolute pleasure to work on. ¶ The busiest week of my career is wrapping up today. I have a significant client meeting with the agency I'm working with coming right up and then after that I daresay I'm in the homestretch.

Labels: Cinema, Freelancing

¶ 8:27 AM

For as long as I can remember my father has been intellectually occupied by open-mindedness and education. Recently he created a glossary of terms that he likens to a "conceptual map of open-mindedness and related ideas." ¶ The evolution of my career took another leap today. From fulltime to partime to freelance to mobile. I bought a notebook today. It arrives any day. Now I can theoretically do my e-mail, drawing, design, and whatever else it is I do for a living, on the go. Yes! I realise that, for most people, a notebook is no big deal. But I've never owned one and I'm not in the habit of buying many digital toys. This is huge for me.

Labels: Freelancing, Philosophy

¶ 11:27 AM

A few bits of news. I've cancelled the Clint Eastwood Siteway Lit raffle but it is still for sale as are all my Siteway Lit boxes excluding Woody Allen. ¶ An illustration I completed last September is in today's National Post, Arts & Life section. It's Dylan as a young man to celebrate his 65th birthday today. ¶ The preview release of Siteway Select is still slated to launch on May 31, 2006 with the live site going up in mid-June. ¶ And last, but not least, I've launched my latest portfolio site over at Folioplanet for Art Directors arrrrrrrrOUND the world to see my work: Folioplanet portfolio. Folioplanet got me connected with a Washington, D.C. client for a portrait of mayor Anthony Williams.

Labels: Freelancing, NationalPost, SitewayLit, SitewaySelect

¶ 8:52 AM

Things have been quite busy but I wanted to take a quick moment to point out that I'm still very much enjoying this spring and that my (albeit temporary) new co-workers are a fantastic bunch of people. I've got a new illustration in tomorrow's National Post. It's of Ayn Rand smoking a cigarette. ¶ I also wanted to send a traditionally vague but meaningful sentence to people close to me. All your support has been appreciated of late, especially in the details, and I hope that I've been able to be that kind of friend to you at some point. No, nothing terrible has happened to me, it's just that I've been in an appreciative mood lately. It's 10:47pm and I'm off to sleep in my new room. Good night, and God speed.

Labels: Freelancing, NationalPost, Vague

¶ 10:45 PM

I have an illustration in today's issue of the National Post. Arts & Life section, Out and About page. ¶ May is definitely my favourite month of the year. Aside from some drama worthy only of a bad television drama (think double-feline drama), my month has been going very well. I started writing this blog about six years ago in my tiny flat in Nottingham. Then, it seemed like a good idea but I would be lying if I told you I knew I'd still be writing. And I would have never predicted it would have graduated beyond BBSing and make it a newsworthy phenomenon. ¶ I started a month-long gig at a midtown agency recently and I've been really enjoying it. They've got a good thing going there, and it shows. Soon I'll post some pictures of my workspace there, but for now check out Dan Arne's tattoo of my porttait of Frank Zappa.

Labels: Flickr, Freelancing, NationalPost, Nostalgia

¶ 9:10 AM

We checked out the Toronto Free Gallery last night where Rannie Turingan has a window installation showcasing portraits he shot in Toronto parks (it's part of what they call the 24 hour gallery which means that the window display is lit up through the night so you can always check it out). I illustrated the map in Adobe Illustrator. Most people are probably familiar with my digital brushwork but less advertised on Siteway is my love of information graphics (although you can get a feel for my design sense from Siteway's design). Using the pen tool in Illustrator I imagine myself a vector surgeon. Slicing and dicing and painting and curving. ¶ Afterwards we jumped in a cab and had our last pre-wedding dating anniversary dinner at one of Toronto's best French restaurants, Gamelle (468 College St). Our waiter, who served us when we went for the first time for Valentine's 2004, made us feel totally at home and we had a great back-and-forth going. The best commercial transactions are like this. For the curious: we shared snails and frog's legs to start, Pauline had the venison special and I had the steak. After my cognac and PLN's creme brulee we leisurly walked down side streets towards the new bar on Ossington, Sparrow. We each had a crisp pint of Stella Artois to wash down the night. ¶ Worked on my direct mail campaign this morning. Fifty postcards went out on Monday, and fifty more out today. It's actually quite fun to be involved in EVERY element of a marketing campaign.

Labels: Freelancing, Restaurants

¶ 1:15 PM

There's this great character-driven scene two-thirds into GoodFellas where the worry-wort gangster Henry Hill is concerned about the police buzz surrounding the Lufthansa Heist. He walks into the bar where he and his cronies hang out, and his shoulders are bunched up in that red leather jacket of his, eyes open, and brows raised. Jimmy Conway, in a scene previous, was losing his shit on the thugs who were spending big money on Caddys and furs which was attracting attention from the coppers. In this scene, though, he's the picture of calm. No worries. Australian, even. Tommy DeVito, the monster, is the picture of calm, too. "There's nothing to worry about. Everything is beautiful." But, Henry insists, what about the FBI? The Lufthansa reports on the radio? What about... "He hasn't heard," they say. You see, Tommy was to be a made man, and that has overshadowed everything in these mens lives. It actually doesn't matter that the FBI is hot on their heels, at least for now, because they're celebrating something. And you can just see the relief on Hill's face. The worrying, for now, can rest. ¶ Pontiac effortlessly turned out her second-ever Butternut squash and Cheddar and Beer soup last night to a receptive stomach/soul. I cobbled together a salad, but it was her soup that turned things around for me. Guess what's for lunch? ¶ My ad in Communication Arts (March/April 2006) is now on newsstands! Page 10.

Labels: Cinema, Cooking, Freelancing

¶ 11:23 AM

Big thanks to John Paolozzi over at CBC Radio 3 for writing a cool post about Siteway. ¶ Watching the fire as we grow / well, I'm sold ¶ Notwithstanding some far-out weekends, up to now February has been a bit of a bust. I knew it would be, somehow (clairvoyance, what?) but in any case, it's already looking up. I'm unable to see how bracing oneself is necessary. And that's what February has been all about so far. But there are some good things just around the corner. PLN and I have some art going up at Poor John's Cafe (1610 Queen Street West) starting March 1, 2006, I have a print ad appearing in Communication Arts (March/April 2006 issue), and I'm helping Shy with some branding for his new restaurant opening this June. ¶ Another March date I'm looking forward to? Dave Chappelle's Block Party opens March 3rd. I haven't been this excited to see a movie in many moons! Look, from my perspective, Dave Chappelle is just a regular dude with anxieties that I can relate to in an unambiguous way. He appeared somewhat vague to Oprah on her show, but to me it was as clear as a Peter Jennings report. Sure, he dances with paranoia a little more tightly than I, but anyone should be able to see how his disposition is perfectly normal.

Labels: Cinema, Freelancing

¶ 11:58 AM

I haven't updated my blog in some time so here goes. School continues to go well and I have some fairly exciting projects I'm working on for Siteway. The final philosopher caricature, Bertrand Russell, should be ready for late July. I've also recently launched the EdPhil Books site. I saw Devil in a Blue Dress again yesterday at the library. I think this might be my favourite Denzel Washington performance. Don Cheadle as 'Mouse' alone makes the film worth watching.

Labels: Cinema, Freelancing, Philosophy, UK

¶ 6:18 AM